Alone, but not lonely!!!

Deepawali aka Diwali, this word itself is filled with happiness. Relatives and cousins visiting your place. Loads of gifts and sweets. From conventional kheel-khilaone to chocolate burfi, every sweet at your service. Variety of new clothes for different occasions,  from western to traditional,  from casual to formal. The time when you light candles and lamps. Fire crackers, almost a synonym for Diwali. The first most important reason to use them, the second being celebration of India's victory over Pakistan in cricket match.

Though now a days, getting Diwali vacations for a week, is next to impossible. It is a matter of joy even if you can manage to get leave for choti & badi Diwali. Diwali's definition changes as you grow up. For children, all it means is to have more time to play, get good food and so many people around. During my childhood, two weeks before diwali used to be the most hectic time of the season. Sending Diwali cards by post to more than 60 relatives, helping mom in kitchen, taking care of studies and homework go hand in hand.

As I grew up, all it meant was to spent good lot of time with Mom, Dad n sisters. Breakfast time was the suitable time to decide rest of the day's menu, decoration strategy, most importantly variety and quantity of sweets. Anything could be compromised, but not the mithais, the star attraction of the festival. Let me not disturb your salivary glands by telling the names . Kitchen department used to be Mom's responsibility. My sister or I would help my Mom in kitchen in between. Decoration was taken care by we sisters. The most important sweets department, as I already mentioned was handled by Dad. No recession, no natural disaster,  can possibly affect this department.  Many a times kitchen and decoration departments have faced quite hard sanctions, but any kind of cost cutting on sweets department was strictly forbidden by my eldest sister, which was gladly accepted by, we the sweets lover family. Every year Dad handled this department quite well.

This year I was alone, far far away from my family, my homeland. Place where lighting crackers other than New Year is totally forbidden. On both the days I felt quite nostalgic, many a times almost on the verge of crying. It really sucks, when you are far away from your family especially when there is a big festival back home. Choti Diwali could not make me feel so bad. Moreover, I was neck deep into my work, so it was ok. The badi diwali day was really tough. No light, no special food, no cracker, though I can manage without the last one. I went to office without any enthusiasm. Come on you can't argue with me on that. There can surely be no motivation to go to office when it is Diwali. I called up my folks so so many times, feeling happy, sad, nostalgic, grinning all at the same time. So I decided to go to my room early and do something to make myself happy. I asked one more Indian friend and told him that I would be doing pooja and if he wishes he can join me, as I am not used to celebrating festivals alone. He said he doesn't celebrate diwali, due to some reason. So immediately, I told him that I would be making special dinner and it would be nice if he can join me. You can call this a tactic, but I had to do it. There is nothing more luring than home made food for people like me. I knew he can't say no to it. :P

Now that the promise to make special dinner was made, it was time for action. So, I quickly made menu and list of things I need to buy. On the way to my room, I stopped by Indian grocery store. I could not dare to buy sweets as they were quite expensive. I quickly made shahi paneer, dry vege potato-onion , salad, raita, matar pulao. As the muhurat for pooja was from 7:30 to 9:00 pm, I had to be super fast. By 8:30, I was ready with decoration. Here are the glimpses:

By the time I finished pooja, my friend also came. After showing my naive skills of pooja, we had dinner. To be honest, nothing was perfect. Just like the day, which was not perfect but happy, dinner was also not perfect but complete. Rice was a little uncooked, dry vege had a little shortage of salt, shahi paneer was too sauer, only raita was under the permissible limits of being perfect. Accepting the fact that not all and everything is perfect, I excuse myself. After all, we are jack of all trades :)

Shaayad

Kisko aati hai maseehayi, kise awaaz dein,

Bol aye khunkhaar tanhaai, kise awaaz dein....

These lyrics might still be with you. They may express your feelings quite well, but the voice that has touched your soul with these words has gone forever. 

My interaction with this voice happened when I was still in the teens. The era when Doordarashan was the only channel. I still clearly remember that fine evening when, I came back home after playing badminton. I switch on TV out of curiosity. There was a music program being played. On a elevated platform main vocal artist along with accompanists on sarangi, tabla. The main singer was wearing thick glass, playing harmonium. There was this unusual thing about him, the vibrations of "gamak" were not only heard but also quite visible on the throat. The pathos in the lyrics was totally in sync with the voice and his expressions. Those were the days when watching TV was forbidden. So, I was asked to switch off the TV and that is how my first interaction with jagjit singh lasted for a minute. The ghazal he was singing was "Har taraf har jagah beshumaar aadmi"

As I grew up, Saregama, a musical talent hunt show helped me see him again. That was the time when I came to know about Jagjit singh ji's charisma. I don't remember when I became a big fan of him, but  I remember that I used to listen to his ghazals for more than 7-8 hours non-stop.

Many people often argue about the tune of ghazals, which according to them were always similar. I am sure that many people don't know that he had a mastery in using "gamak" and "komal swara". Handling of each note & gamak was so careful as if feelings from heart were being skimmed cautiously.

I remember, once Gulzar Sahab said this about him, "woh ghazal aise sunate hain, jaise koi ruyee ke faahe se zakhm sehla raha ho"( he sings as if someone is tickling old wounds with cotton).

There will be so many admirers, who have found solace in his voice. A comfort from his ghazals, a serenity felt inside even when we were struggling hard outside. Everyone has one or other favorite ghazal sung by Jagjit Singh. For many people Jagjit Singh was, is and will remain the "King of Ghazal". 

Who else would have made magical Shayari of Mirza Ghalib mesmerising? Whose voice could have sent lover's yearning for love( honthon se chu lo tum )? A bus or train journey would have been so lonely if "marasim" ghazals were not there as co-passengers. Twilight would have been filled with sadness if  "forget me not" ghazals were not the companions. Who would have encouraged with his ghazals ( pyar ka pehle khat likhane waqt to lagta hai )? Who else would have introduced me to "Faraz", "Zahir Ludhianavi", "Ghalib", "Mir taki mir", "Gulzar"? How I would have expressed myself when overwhelmed with emotions, if his ghazals were not there??  He has a special place in our lives and will always remain special. It is difficult to say "Goodbye" to you, Jagjit Singh ji, coz the fact is, till we live, you will live inside us, in form of your ghazals, in form of our feelings.

Phir usi raah guzar par shayad, hum kabhi mil sakein magar shayad.

Jaan pehchan se bhi kya hoga, phir bhi ae-dost gaur karein shayad.

Muntazir jinke hum rahe unko, mil gaye aur humsafar shayad.

Jo bhi bichade hain kabhi mile hai 'faraz', phir bhi tu intezaar kare shayad....